The OK Adventures of Peppersloth and Annie

So, I am writing this without my glasses. No, I didn’t get contacts. I ended up with what looks like a sore blood vessel on the side of my nose, near my tear duct. It is very painful, and not my favorite thing that has ever happened to me. But it does feel very ‘In true me fashion’. Ever since moving to Oklahoma, I can’t seem to escape medical concerns. Think about it: In OH, the only bone I ever broke was a toe in high school. I moved to Oklahoma, and eight months in, I fell and broke my knee. A year later, I ended up with blood clots in my leg and both lungs. They still don’t really know why that happened. And then there are the fun things that I inflict upon myself, such as not wanting to go through life without a well balanced walk. My mental health isn’t super balanced either, but that is a separate issue. The point is that Oklahoma has done a great job of digging up the dirt in my life. And not just the medical dirt either!

You know what weddings are great for? Not love, but truth. Well, love is there, but! Truth is the REAL thing that comes out at weddings. You really learn who is for you, and who is against you. I asked a girl from college to be a bridesmaid, but she was angry that she wasn’t maid of honor. So, she went out of her way to be the biggest jerk on the planet. I ended up kicking her out of my bridal party. You don’t get to call the bride ugly, and stay a bridesmaid. This ‘friend’ had always been kind of a jerk, but when she didn’t get her way, her true colors came out. She expected me to roll over and play dead. But I went against ‘in true me fashion’ and removed her from my wedding, and my life. And you know what? I’m so much better without her. Having to stand up to her forced me out of my comfort zone, and uprooted the dirt of pleasing people. I have an inner child that fears the consequences of rocking any kind of metaphorical boat. In Ohio, I never would have stood up for myself. Now? Now, I ask myself, ‘What can this person actually do to me if I don’t do what they are asking?’ The answer is usually ‘Nothing. They cannot do anything because they hold no power over me.’ People pleasing is a very difficult, but very worthwhile thing to overcome. I’m looking forward to getting lots of practice this summer. 

I think the biggest and best thing that has come from Oklahoma, besides my husband, is realizing what an introvert I really am. I knew it in Ohio, but I didn’t really practice it. I look back on my life, and wonder why I worked so hard to fit into places I wasn’t ever meant to fit into. I like staying home. I like my quiet life. I like not talking to anyone, except for Jerrad and Holly in a day. That is a REALLY good day! And I don’t know why I didn’t embrace more of that lifestyle in Ohio. It would have taken away a lot of the stress I put myself through, and would have saved me from a lot of heartache. I could have missed out on all of the fake friendships I went through. But, maybe that dirt was good to uproot then, because it has made me pickier about letting people close to me. I heard a sermon once about Jesus’ circle of friends. It goes through these stages of closeness Jesus had with different sets of people while he was here on earth, and asks the reader to determine which set they fit into. It was a great sermon, and I think it is based on a book, but I have no idea what the book is. As someone who LOVES books, this is going to drive me insane. But I digress. The point is that we should be the same. Jesus set healthy boundaries with people. He didn’t let everyone wash his feet with their hair. Just one person was allowed to do that. We don’t need to vent everything in our lives to everyone. Maybe just one person. And who that person is, is a very serious decision. I’m not sure of the best way to make it, but it is something that I would like to explore…In true me fashion!