Today’s blog post is brought to you by Doordash. Okay, not really, although that would be super cool! Jerrad Doordashes part time, and once a week I go with him. We listen to a podcast, usually about marriage, and talk about it. It is the best quality time! Sidenote: If you are a single person, but marriage is something that you’re interested in, you should listen to marriage podcasts and read marriage books. You go to college for 4+ years to learn about a job you want to do the rest of your life. Why should it be any different for learning how to live intimately with another person for the rest of your life? And, just like college vs a job, you’ll learn more about marriage from hands-on experience (insert obligatory sex joke), than you will from listening to a podcast. But you gotta start somewhere!
I hate this idea that marriage and sex are some BIG secret that a single person could never understand. I hate the way married women treat single women. It is disgusting. Just like the way moms treat women who haven’t had children for whatever reason. So, let me spill the tea. There is no big secret. There is very little that is different about my life now, vs when I was single. Some people call marriage a sleepover every day with their best friend. I wouldn’t go THAT far…Jerrad is my best friend, and we do sleep together, in both senses of the phrase. But, when I think of sleepovers, I think of giggling girls and junk food. I think of watching movies all night, and being exhausted the next day. That is not what marriage is. At least, that isn’t marriage for us! It is much simpler. We get up, we adult, and then we sleep. Sometimes, we have sex. A lot of the time we’re either laughing or yelling. And, occasionally, we watch movies and eat junk food. But, mostly, it is just life. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don’t become a brand new person because one day you’re single, and the next day you’re married. You become a new person by getting up every day, and making the decision to love the person you feel like lighting on fire. Not that I would know what that’s like…
Marriage is work because life is work. Marriage isn’t difficult. I have no issue having a permanent covenant to my husband. Love is difficult. Because love is a choice, and when it doesn’t feel like one person is choosing as much as the other, it hurts. It hurts a lot. And if you sit in that hurt for too long without talking about it with your spouse, it can destroy your marriage. But that means you have to communicate, and that can also be difficult because men do not speak woman. There have been SO many times when I say something to Jerrad, and he doesn’t understand. But then he will listen to a marriage podcast and a man will say THE EXACT SAME THING that I said, and Jerrad will understand. And then I want to light him on fire. But I don’t! Yet!
Marriage is FUN! No one makes me laugh like Jerrad does. He is so funny! I’m way funnier, but he definitely has his moments. And we have fun together! We go on roadtrips, play stupid car games, and eat lots of junk food. We have conversations that I wouldn’t ever have with anyone else, because no one listens, or respects, me like Jerrad does. Jerrad is the first person to make me feel like my thoughts and opinions have value. He makes me feel smart! I’ve never felt smart in my whole life! He shares my blog posts, and listens to me read them. He lets me talk about him and make fun of him in front of the 13 people who take the time to read my posts. We go together, and we grow together. That is marriage.
So, there is no secret, no tea, and there is nothing that makes married life better than single life. It is just life. So, get married, don’t get married, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you live.
‘And, while Cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point, gentlemen, is that they lived.’ (Tennant, Andy. ‘Ever After: A Cinderella Story’. 20th Century Studios, 1998.)
The OK Adventures of Peppersloth and Annie 
Leave a comment