The OK Adventures of Peppersloth and Annie

Two years. Two years have passed since Jerrad and I said ‘I do!’ I found a recording of my vows the other day, and almost bawled. This past year has brought more challenges than the previous, but also more laughs and lessons. We have grown as adults, and as a couple. As a couple, I think the biggest thing that has come from this past year is learning to stand for each other. There has been a lot of adversity, both physical and spiritual. But we have taken it all, learned from it, and used it to make us better. If you know me, you know I don’t believe that marriage is hard. I believe that life is hard, and how you respond to it affects your marriage. This year created opportunities to repeatedly make that decision.

The nice thing about our anniversary is that it comes right before the holiday season starts. Yes, I count Halloween as part of that season, don’t come for me! Considering the family of clowns that my husband comes from, I think it is highly appropriate! Because only clowns would ban someone from attending family events, in the name of protecting a poisonous snake. Speaking of bans, one of my favorite things that happened to us this year was getting banned from our neighborhood Facebook group for standing up to the neighborhood Karen. The family that gets banned together, stays together! 

Managing money has been a huge theme of this past year. We took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace class, and it has really impacted our view of money. We made it through the first two steps, and have been roller coastering through the third. The biggest thing we’re learning is patience. The faster we try to accomplish the goal, the more stressed we become, resulting in the goal taking longer to complete. So, we are slowing down and taking it one month at a time. Taking this class also inspired Jerrad to spread his wings, and become a financial coach! He finished the Dave Ramsey class at the end of August, and is now prepared to guide anyone and everyone through their financial crisis. We are VERY excited for this new adventure!

Of course, since we’re trying to get better with money, our appliances decided to be needy. The top half of our dishwasher broke, our freezer gave out, and our dryer has decided it’s next on the list. In all of these situations, we each had in our own minds how we would solve it as an individual. Our abilities to communicate and compromise were tested. It took work, but financially sound compromises were made. The bottom half of the dishwasher works fine, and everything that doesn’t fit gets hand washed. If it aint 100% broke, don’t fix it. Instead of spending $1500 on a new refrigerator, we bought a $600 single person sized refrigerator that makes obnoxious noises and put it in the garage. So, it’s not only financially sound, but it’s creating healthy habits. Example: I think I’m hungry at night. But am I hungry enough to walk into the garage for a snack? Probably not! We bought a kit to fix the dryer, but the short term solution is to pull it away from the wall. This also helps keep us safe because it blocks the door from the garage. We’re saving money, and lives! 

One of the other goals we set for ourselves this year was working on all of the things that are medically wrong with me. It is quite a list! I have been to several specialists, who have found that, other than my iron and vitamin D being low (which Jerrad swears he has a solution for), I am a very healthy human. Which is nice to know, but doesn’t help my walk, or get me pregnant. I guess those will have to be 2024’s problems. I am walking without my cane, and am seeing HUGE improvements in my mobility. If only my feet would catch up to those improvements. 

If you see Jerrad and don’t recognize him, it is because he has lost 50+ in the two years we’ve been married. Jerrad has acid reflux disease, and an addiction to eating whatever he wants, whenever he wants. In the first six months of our marriage, he was constantly burping. It was like sitting at a second grade boy’s table during lunch. Major flashback! I started doing research, and found that a dairy free diet was very helpful for acid reflux. Jerrad has started changing his diet, and he feels so much better! As his wife, that is all I want for him. And to hear the words ‘You were right, Honey!’ as often as possible! 

If you read last year’s Christmas letter, or have been following on social media, you know that we made the decision to attend church in Shawnee, OK where Victory Family Church opened up a new campus. For me, this was an opportunity to get back into church planting. For Jerrad, it was a chance to network. After a year and a half, God opened the door for us to go back to Norman. This was a really difficult decision, and I can’t discuss all of the details of the why, but God has worked it out so well. I will always be thankful for our time in Shawnee, and for a few of the connections that we made, but I am happy to be back where our marriage can thrive. 

Working to thrive has probably been the hardest part of this past year. In December, I was under the impression that we were thriving, and then found our marriage in a place of survival instead. It was a shock to my system, and I was very unprepared. But we have put in a lot of work through small groups, counseling, and prayer. We now find ourselves somewhere in the inbetween. Almost like our own personal Wonderland. Everything is a little upside-down or sideways. It’s scary and uncertain, but always an adventure. We are learning to fight well together, instead of fighting poorly against each other. We are learning to work on ourselves, so that we can be the best for each other. We cheer each other on, as we achieve personal goals. We are choosing who, what, where, when, why, and how is healthy for us. We are always we, even when we don’t like each other…that happens more than we like to admit. And that’s okay! It is okay to say, ‘I love you, but I don’t like you right now. Let’s try again tomorrow.’ And then we do. We go to bed without a good night kiss. We spend a whole day not talking. And then one of us breaks, and we talk (or yell) it out until we like each other again. Oh, no. Marriage isn’t hard. It’s an adventure. And while I would never say our responses were perfect, I am thankful for the lessons, and believe they will carry us well into Year Three!