The OK Adventures of Peppersloth and Annie

As we approach the Month Four mark of this grand adventure, it’s time to set some new goals. Up until now, I have pretty much just been surviving. And that’s okay! Sometimes, that is as much as a person can do. But, at some point, a person has to stop settling for survival, and strive for thriving.

                Church: Up until this point, I have been hit and miss at church. Whether it was because I was traveling, or just too tired to move, I have not been a regular attendee. The church that I was hit and miss at is great! It is legendary, as far as churches go. It would be considered the Marvel Hero of churches! But it is also a place that allows me to hide from the world. As an introvert, if I can scrape by unnoticed, that is exactly what I’m going to do. But that is not the life that God has called me to. So, I am now on a mission to find the church that does not allow me to hide. I attended one that I liked. The worship was good, it is the size that I like, but I struggled to connect with the message. I’m trying to give grace. It was his first time speaking at the church, and I’m sure he was nervous. And, to be fair, I spent more time making faces at his baby daughter than I did paying attention to him. I need to go back and hear the regular pastor speak, before I make a fair judgment.

                Employment: Ugh. The thorn of my existence. I have determined that unemployment looks good on me. Otherwise, why would God keep bringing me to it? That’s not entirely fair. I quit my job at Amazon because I thought that OKCPS had everything ready to go for subs. It turns out, they didn’t. So, I am back to square one. I have had a few interviews, and there is another district that I may be able to sub for. So, I am back to waiting.

                Teaching: I did not pass my certification tests. This was a huge pill to swallow. It was a huge blow to my self-esteem, and I’ve felt the pull to spiral. For the past month, the voices of everyone who said I couldn’t make it have been laughing inside my head. So, I did what I always do when something doesn’t go my way. Avoid, ignore, and pretend I’m okay. Do you know who doesn’t accept this? My mother. I ended up going home for two weeks because it seemed like a better option than wallowing in my apartment. Nothing puts a smile on my face like my nieces and nephew. But it was also a good time to get the ‘talking to’ I needed from my mother. I told her everything I was feeling, and she said, ‘I understand. Fight back.’ Fight back. Simple as that. And so, I am back in OKC, fighting back, and studying to retake my tests. It isn’t going to be fun, and I am not excited. But I know it is what I need to do.

                Life in General: Life in general is OK. My weight continues to fluctuate. I found a couple of free nutrition programs through the YMCA. One of them includes an app that I have to check in on every day. I have to record my activity and food every day, and my weight once a week. The accountability is definitely helpful, but it is still a conscious decision that I have to make every day. Walk, or sleep. Fruit and vegetables, or nachos and pizza. Introvert, or socialize. It isn’t easy, but it is a step in the right direction.

                Is Annie OK: This is always the question I come back to. Am I OK? At this point, I am less OK than I was. There have been some major setbacks, and it would be very easy to give up. But, just like Michael Jackson’s song, I’m not going down without a fight. That’s not what Annie’s do. So, no. Annie is not OK. But she’s fighting back.